Is it okay in love and marriage if you practice patriarchal patterns? No! Sheila Wray Gregoire has surveyed more than 30,00 Christian women and men and has found that a great many have been harmed by teaching they have received in books and sermons pushing a non-biblical pattern of hierarchy and unequal leadership in the home. Bruce considers this with her in the light of the Tru316 message: that God didn't curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.
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From the interview on The Eden Podcast:
Sheila: “When you create a situation where men’s opinions matter more, and where his having leadership means that she is not to question him, it creates a situation where she can’t bring up marriage issues that she sees. Or she can’t be ‘iron sharpening iron’ with him which the Bible calls us to be. That slowly becomes an entitlement on his part, and I believe what we’re seeing is a lot of men are raised to be entitled and spiritually lazy. … I think that this whole theology [they’re raised on] does men such a disservice. And I’m so glad to see men speaking up about it, because more men need to.”
“Bad theology leads to a 7-fold increase in divorce” according to Sheila Gregoire. “The church is teaching us to live in ways that stifle intimacy. Worse still, church leaders are blacklisting her teaching on intimacy in marriage.”
Sheila: “Imposing a hierarchy on spouses is not following the Bible’s teaching. Bruce: As Dr. Joy Fleming revealed in her research God didn’t curse Eve (or Adam) or limit woman in any way.